Safe Place

This is a blog of sorts. I dump things here and look back at them when I want to reflect. If anyone ever stumbles upon it, you're welcome to stay a while and chat, leave comments or whatever.

Updates

I have fallen off the wagon

I haven't gone to class since Thanksgiving. My homework has been neglected, and I cannot bring myself to get to it. I don't know what's going on anymore. My depression is thriving while I stay trapped indoors, it's too cold to go on walks …

Life Update: COVID, college, and controlled substances

I really wish I have been keeping a journal since this all started. I have gone through so much this year, along with everyone I know. I have no access to the kind of therapy I need. This all sucks.

Abandonment Issues... For real?

Sometimes you get depressed and you can't figure out what's getting you down. You push people away and hurt those you thought you loved, and you can't figure out why you keep doing this to yourself.

It's Weird

I've always looked up to my mom, so much...

What I'm Now Looking For

Doing things for attention? What the fuck no. I just want help. That's all I want: save me from myself. Please,

If I Could Be Two...

I really wish there were just two of me. And I could feel myself in whichever one I wanted to at any moment. Hey, why not: one me would be a guy, and one would be a girl. The guy me would just chillax at home and skate, and chat with mah h…

When a shit day goes wonderfully

School sucks but at least there's the little things... Today my crush shouted across the classroom to tell me she liked my haircut and I am now dead inside. See you in the afterlife.

Starting To Live As Bigender!

I cut my hair at 5 AM Monday morning, December 7th, 2015. I finished touching it up yesterday with a razor comb that I was able to convince my mother to get for me. She freaked out at first, yeah, but mainly because she would rather I have…

I told someone

I hope I'm not mistaken. But she's very supportive. And she said she'll be there for me while I'm figuring myself out. Thanks.

Something I Have Yet to Speak of

I've hidden the truth-- Of my identity Mask after mask-- Avoiding the insincerity Afraid of living-- Of making certain connections These are my feelings-- That I fear won't be accepted I've spent all this time-- Being dishonest Choosing th…

I'm Not Mediocre!

My own force of mediocrity has been pulling me down. I've been overwhelmed by the stress of being the top. That's why I've been going completely downhill in the last semester of school years since 8th grade. I could have been valadictorian…

I love my friends, I loathe PMS

I forgot to take my iron supplements for a few days. And I finally left the house today for the first itme in a week, and went to the supermarket with one of my best friends. I was really hyper, as I couldn't control myself. My brain was a…

I hate to talk about all of this, but I need validation, and achieving that through writing is... Simply put, the easiest way out of this state I'm in. It's a long, and dreary, inconsequential post. Prey (Reprise) Myuu Pop USD 0.99 provide…