Starting To Live As Bigender!

I cut my hair at 5 AM Monday morning, December 7th, 2015. I finished touching it up yesterday with a razor comb that I was able to convince my mother to get for me. She freaked out at first, yeah, but mainly because she would rather I have it professionally cut. I madly disagree. Like I told her, it's like telling someone else how to sculpt a statue or an object in your mind. It just can't be done... Everyone's style is different.

I woke up this morning feeling very much like a girl. Yesterday I was convinced that I was just transgender as I couldn't recall the emotions I had when being comfortable with my body, even though I knew there were points in my past where I was. And now I feel like I'm permanently cisgendered, although I know there's going to be days in the future where I'll be feeling dysphoric again.

It's only hitting me now that I cut my hair, of course. Yesterday I was very, very happy with looking like a boy, and everyone teasing me about that. So I had to do something to make myself feel more girly today, just a tad bit, so I can be most comfortable. I just put a colorful belt-type thing around my head as a headband and put my hair overit, letting the long ends fall over my shoulders like ponytails. I'm wearing a brightly colored shirt, which is something I haven't done in a long time, with a long blue skirt. I feel very lady-like, now. x3

I still prefer not to wear makeup. I don't feel like that's reserved for girls, either, but that isn't what's stopping me. I just don't like to wear it! It feels so gross on me. It feels... Fake. I don't think wearing makeup is a terrible thing, though. If you're comfortable with it, good for you! Don't be afraid to express yourself.