My Autobiography, As I Recall It... (Part 1)

Earliest memories...

My mother was once laying me down next to the couch to change my diaper. I couldn't yet articulate my feelings, so I was speechless when snot started to go up my nose, causing the same sensation as getting water up it. I could only cry, causing more snot to form, and in turn I cried louder. My mother just kept shooshing me, as she had guests there that she needed to host and didn't want to bother them with a screaming baby.

I once cried in the lower bunk of my brother's bed, not wanting to sleep in a bed alone. So I was moved back to my mother's bed, where she always set up a blockade to keep me from falling off. I only remember a blurry picture of my brother's orange carpet through my tears.

I was in the Schild basement, before it was reconstructed. The pink carpet glowed with cheeriness and comfort. We were going to hold the mock wedding of little Basia and the child of a family friend. As we were preparing, our neighbor of the same age came downstairs, and was very jealous of the couple. So we decided to make him the groom. As I tossed the fake flower petals from my basket over their heads, one of the older Schild girls, I think it was Zee, had said, "You may kiss the bride!" And so they kissed, perfectly masked by the shower of petals.

I was once too frightened to turn a Goosebumps tape over. It was the audio of A Shocker On Shock Street.

The voice of Rabbi Burston...

Preparing my "Emergency Pack" in that old handbag... I packed random things, like my tree identification book, probably bandaids and bug spray, and a pen or something.

Scribbling and crafting all day long on the dining room table... There were those funky shaped scissors, the 18 carat gold marker that I thought was actually real gold and used without permission all the time... Calling Rachel for her 18th birthday... 

Fitting underneath my mother's bed. Getting lost and panicking under her blankets. Picking out DVDs or VHS tapes to watch on the television in front of my father's bed. Springing a leak in my sleep when the Schilds were over watching a movie, and being carried, embarassed, out of the room to be cleaned up.

Getting ferbreeze sprayed in my eye, and crying for the first time in front of the Schilds. 

RL slapping me at the top of the stairs.

Sitting on the "Secret" rock and not telling the Schilds my secret (I still wore pull-ups at age 6).

Stealing my neighbors stuff. Him stealing my stuff. It was mutual. 

Playing with all those old barbies and doll sets my mom bought for me. When my mom set up the secret room behind the book shelf so I could play in peace when there were tiny children visiting... Until the friend I brought in there wouldn't stop talking aloud and revealed our location to the scavenging little sister, who popped her head in, smiling.

The little bench that same little sister would sit on, next to Akiva. We would ask them, "Are you two married?" the girl would say, "Yeah!!" whilst smiling and nodding energetically. And Akiva would say "No." We would keep asking, and the girl would always answer the same... But Akiva would grow increasingly frustrated. "No!" "No!!!!! "NOOOO!!!!!" until eventually he'd give a tiny whisper of pure hatred: "no..."

Finding the pads in my mother's bathroom, and enjoying the texture off the surrounding plastic. 

Showering with my mom, and always standing in the corner so as not to get water in my eyes...  

Mom's bedtime stories... Flower girl and her flower power, rainbow girl and her magic book, smurf boy and how he always outwitted the pirates, the evil janitor, the magic treehouse (before the series came out, my mother always told stories to my older siblings that were just like the published ones)... the 3 little pigs, goldy-locks and the 3 bears... And all those little girls that got lost in the woods. Me always begging her to "Rub my back!"

Crying and begging for my mother until I fell asleep, as she babysat across the street. Annoying the hell out of my dad in the process, and being called a "Spoiled baby" by my brother.

Rachel always stealing my pink blanket to use as a table cloth.

Rachel running out of her room in the middle of the night screaming, stating that she saw a pure white deer at her window, which had ran off when she tried to open it. My mother told her she was dreaming. She was wearing a nightgown that matched my own. I later hallucinated a similar entity, wanting so badly to see it myself.

Standing on the fire place, playing the tongue-speech game with the Schilds.

Playing War with the Schilds, and trying to recall the word "Suicidal" when describing the actions of the king of hearts. I ended up calling it the "King of Something", which became a meme amongst us.

My father sending me to my room. When I left for a drink, he made me go back without one and wait a bonus 15 minutes. One time I was sent to my room while I had a friend over, ERK, and had to leave her at the dinner table. She waited patiently for me on the couch, but I was very angry at my dad for making her suffer for some stupid thing I did (It was scraping my fork too loudly against the plate when I ate).

Saying "Cocky" in school, and being tattled on. I was dragged to the bathroom and had my mouth washed out with soap.

Being laughed at by all the boys in my pre-1A class, because I assumed one boy's name was "Menachem Mendel" (Which is like every Jewish boy's name where I came from)

No longer being allowed to hang upside-down from the monkey bars, becase it exposed too much (of my tights).

Climbing on top of the tunnel in the playground, and getting yelled at every day for it.

Getting pushed off the swings by the older schoolgirls that shared our building.

Seeing that beautiful sky-blue bird perched on the playground fence when I had gone back to fetch my lunch box. Another time I saw the same one, on the porch of my house. I have yet to find what bird it was. I distinctly remember that as it took flight, its wings formed the pattern of the clouds and it disappeared, camouflaged, into the sky.