If I Could Be Two...
I really wish there were just two of me. And I could feel myself in whichever one I wanted to at any moment. Hey, why not: one me would be a guy, and one would be a girl. The guy me would just chillax at home and skate, and chat with mah homies, while the girl me could urge out the rest of my creative energy and feel productive all the time. 'Cause I can't do both at once, and I can't feel both at once, and it sucks. I'm either productive and creative but totally restless, or relaxing and chill but feeling like I'm not doing anything important. There's no in between. And each one lasts for months at a time. And each one sucks without the other balancing it out.
This sounds pretty stupid. Good thing no one reads this thing.
Another Night of Wishing, Wishing, Wishing...
Wishing on that star
Which crashes into walls
It's beating up my heart
It's coveting my fall
If this is not enough
There's nothing left at all
Four sides of conflict
Where I had once stood tall
And now all this wishing
Has forced me down to crawl
All alone down here,
My soul is in its thrall
That Star Inside of Me is Crashing Again
When the moon thinks she can be
as bright as the sun’s luminescence--
Where cats play with small objects
Imagining real rodents--
Who dances in the dark field
For an invisible audience--
How wind pushes blades and dust
To void, or persuade the senses--
What crashing stars distract us,
Stave off the healing process--
Fleeting, yet enough to stave the soul
With cause to leave us hopeless--
Who Am I?
Life could be so different already. I could be living in such a different world. The choices I've made until now... Are they really getting me to the best outcome? If I had the power of save and load, I could go back and pick a different box, just to ease the lust for knowledge, the curve of curiosity bending my mind back around to all those moments of decision... What would I be feeling now if I were living that life instead?
That Classroom Window
The pavement is hidden
The black trees are broken
The sky is white linen
A caw from the crow and
It rises and falls
Fast and then slowed
It builds up a pressure
Deep in my bones
I’m slipping away
From all of this pain
To set myself free
I’d leave myself blinded
So much is left
Still so much to do
But when I go searching
I can’t seem to find it
Where have my hopes gone
Where are my dreams
I dream of realities
But they were once healing
My spirit departs
Slips from the windowsill
I close my eyes
And all is... still
When a shit day goes wonderfully
School sucks but at least there's the little things... Today my crush shouted across the classroom to tell me she liked my haircut and I am now dead inside. See you in the afterlife.
My New Quote
I'm an artist. I do things how I want them to be done, with style.
