Journal Entry #3

This morning I woke up a little later than I wanted, but that's okay. I still had time for everything besides the shower. Which is also perfectly okay because I had soccer practice later anyway. I went to school, just wishing to go back to sleep but managing okay. The morning classes were typical, and in computers I almost finished the intermediate courses in typing. During lunch recess, I saw Pizza in the locker room while Mad put on her contacts. I happened to be singing Smile, Smile, Smile as I walked in, so I purposefully went to her and sang more. She was laying on the bench, seeming really depressed. She didn't leave immediately like she normally does. Shortly before going upstairs, I talked to Pizza in the gym. I let her know that I still like her and that if she ever needs someone to talk to, or a shoulder to cry on, I'd be there for her. I was hesitant, but I now know that the only things I regret are the things I didn't do. And I certainly don't regret doing that, because I think I actually got good results, however minuscule. I had also written REDRUM on the mirror in dripping wet clay, and came really close to getting in trouble when Shura apparently tattled. Onion Ring knew, but she promised not to tell. Mr. Staffman cleaned it up himself.

In science we did an experiment with rubber bands, to find that if you stretch it further whether or not the object you are flinging from it goes farther. It does, because it has more stored energy. I got to fling the ruler at BS, but even though it would have hit him square on the face, it hit his arm when Mordy deflected it with a yardstick.

Civics class; we watched Lord of the Flies. The first half, anyway. Five kids were in our class today, and Miss Paula got a lucky break since all the kids that usually have problems with swear words were absent. It was really good. And there were some times when me and Gina shared a giggle or two.

Math class; Harold, Tevvy’s father, substituted for Miss Hail. We went to the computer lab to do Khan Academy, and I ended up in the library since there were no computers left in the lab. With BS, who was doing his make-up work on the couch. Khan Academy was going really slow on IE, so I downloaded Chrome onto that computer and it worked wonders. I improved many skill points. Eventually BS came to the computer next to me, exploring the website while talking about how he's into anatomy stuff and what-not. Which of course reminded me spectacularly of dad.

For soccer, I passed with Mad at first and then Coach Hail showed us many tricks. She wants us to try and learn how to get the ball over our head from behind, or be able to juggle it. If someone accomplishes either by next Tuesday, she'll give them a fruit-roll-up. There were barely any people there, and I actually like it a lot better that way. Especially without Tevvy. I get authority, but I don't command people to do things; I suggest them. So the environment is much more peaceful overall. And there was no fighting.

We finished right on time, but I stayed with Coach Hail and ran four laps around the field with her, keeping pace with her the whole time. She said she was impressed. :D

When I got home I talked to Pearl and that's pretty much what led to the now. And my horns haven't dried yet. I'm growing impatient.

Pearl pasted some quotes from previous conversations, and each one brought so many emotions that struck my heart so suddenly. (Stupid) Emotions that I had been feeling then. "i"M NOT TALKING ABOUT WHAT GENITALS HE HAS IM TALKING ABOUT WHERE HE WANTS THEM". I started feeling really nervous and defensive. Then i remembered the mistake I made about pansexual. And even though I told myself it was an honest, perfectly understandable mistake, I felt so stupid. I thought, "One mistake, Megumi, and you feel this awful?? One, simple, reasonable mistake and you feel this stupid about it??" Well, I guess I'm a bit insecure after all. Or I'm just too used to getting things right the first time or something. Anyway, I've got a precept to write. And now I'm getting a little depressed from thinking about pansexuality and insecurity. Wonderful. Time for some music.